


Leaving

by PhasicDreamer



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dave being a dick, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 23:26:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6214390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhasicDreamer/pseuds/PhasicDreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe it's time to move on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leaving

You never did get your answer.

Nearly two whole years later and you still didn't know why.

But you suppose, maybe it was better that way.

After countless hours of persuading and grieving, your friends finally managed to coax you from your hopeless depression, easing your way back into the workings of society.

You had long ago moved out of the apartment you once shared with your lover, deciding instead on a cozy little one bed and bath on the other side of town that was far closer to your friends and family.

You had gotten a new job at a quaint little bookstore just down the street from your favorite coffee shop, working along side your long time friend Rose Lalonde, and you loved every second of it.

You were finally eating healthy, and though some nights still plagued you with endless nightmares, you were able to get back on a regular sleeping schedule.

And with how busy your life had gotten he rarely crossed your mind anymore.

It was difficult, and some days you don't have it in you to drag yourself from bed, but everything was finally back in order and you were once again enjoying life.

So why?

Why, after all this time, did he have to show up here of all places?

It started off as any other day. You woke up, got dressed, ate breakfast, and then headed out to grab a little something from the cafe.

It was a hot summer day, the sun scorching on your back as you entered the cool air conditioned cafe, the familiar jingling of the bell sounding from above you and announcing your entrance.

Spotting your favorite barista, you smile and make your way to the counter to place your order.

Karkat, who had been busy writing something down on one of the cups and grumbling under his breath about 'dumb human names being impossible to spell', looked up upon your arrival, the annoyed grimace on his face lifting ever so slightly.

Leaning against the polished counter you grin up at the much shorter troll with the nubby horns before giving a small wave,

“Good morning KitKat.”

He scoffs, turning to type something into the cash register.

“What the fuck's so good about it? It's not like I enjoy waking up at the ungodly hours of the morning only to drag my ass down to this sorry excuse for a human establishment and waste away my entire fucking day listening to every nook stain that walks in here and demands I serve them like some fucking slave. So no, there is nothing 'good' about the morning.”

Resting your chin in the palm of your hand you gaze up at the grumpy troll in false fascination,

“Why they decided to have you work the front counter where you're forced to socialize with the customers I'll never know.”

Karkat shoots you a playful glare, a small smirk tugging at his lips.

Looking at you now he never would have thought you were once that sad and broken girl that first dragged herself through those doors into the pathetic cafe all those months ago.

Ever since that day your friendship with the coffee shop employee had only grown.

As time wore on you had even begun to develop a crush on the shorter boy, enjoying his company far more than you originally thought you would.

He was loud, had anger issues, curse happy and generally everything you would expect from the little ball of condensed rage. But he was also kind, caring, adorable and a huge Rom-Com dork.

He had his flaws and you loved everyone of them.

“You and me both.”

Karkat grumbles in response, causing you to perk up, laughter bubbling on your lips. Reaching under the counter he grabs a cup and prepares your order, already having it mesmerized like the back of his hand, but choosing to ask for the sake of keeping up a conversation with his flush crush.

“So, are you going to fucking order or are you just going to stand there all day and hold up the line?”

Grinning cheekily you open you mouth to answer, your witty response falling silent as a hauntingly familiar voice answered for you.

“Earl Grey, two spoons of sugar, no milk. You never were one for coffee.”

By now all the color had drained from your face, your chest heaved and your stomach felt tangled, your heart practically cracking your rib cage and your mind spinning so fast it was impossible to focus.

You felt like you were drowning, sinking deeper and deeper into a pit from which there is no escape, as you finally bring yourself to meet the subject of your suffering for the past two and a half years.

Dave stood with his hands in his pockets, a red broken record T-shirt over his taught frame and a pair of tight skinny jeans hugging his slender legs, his favorite pair of black Converse placed per usual on his feet.

His platinum blonde locks fell softly over his forehead, combed neatly to the side and framing his sculpted jaw. Tan cheeks peppered with freckles and ruby eyes hidden behind a pair of aviator shades caused your heart to stop and twist in the worst way possible and you're not quite sure if you remember how to breath.

You do nothing but stand there, completely frozen, for seconds on end. Eyes wide and fear stricken you stare, your throat dry and if you try to speak now you're sure your words would come out as nothing but a mangled squeak.

But you try anyway.

“Why?”

It's soft, like a whisper, and could easily be disguised by a gentle breeze, had Dave not already been standing so close he might have missed it.

With a confused and some what tense smile, the taller boy took a hand from his pocket and reached to run it through his hair, an action you despise your eyes having followed so obediently. 

“Well shit [Name], you're going to have to be more specific then that ya' know.”

With a soft chuckle he tries to defuse the tension coiling in the air, smothering not only him but the other cafe patrons who have started to steal glances at the two of you, but it seems that with this little action he had instead ignited a fuse.

“YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT STRIDER SO DON'T YOU DARE PLAY INNOCENT! WHY THE FUCK, AFTER TWO FUCKING YEARS, DID YOU COME BACK?!” 

Pen drop silence followed your outburst, if you thought the two of you were getting some unwanted attention before you were sure all eyes were on you now. The air was heavy, damn near electrified, and no one dare speak let alone move in fear of starting a fire.

You couldn’t breath, you couldn't think. They're stares, his stare, was causing an unbearable itch to crawl up your back, it was driving you insane. It was fight or flight, but you couldn't move, paralyzed by his gaze alone. 

It was like all your hard work, everything you had been striving towards for years, was crumbling away before your very eyes in mere seconds. Every hiccuping sob, every nightmare, every second spent grieving for the loss of the love of your life suddenly came rushing back to you, slamming into you with such force it nearly sent you to your knees in tears. 

And he still just stood there, emotionless, as if he was completely unfazed by your obvious despair. Not a hair out of place or twitching facial muscle, nothing. He was a statue and in that moment you wanted nothing more than to break him.

It was Karkat who finally interfered and broke you from your petrified stupor, a tender hand on your shoulder as he rounded the counter to stand at your side. You mentally thanked him for the anchor, his touch being the only thing holding you together.

“Look, I don't know who the fuck you are or how you know [Name], but it's obvious she doesn't want you here so maybe it's best you get the fuck out.”

If Dave's shocked by Karkat's venomous declaration he doesn’t show it, instead stuffing his hands into his pants pockets with an indifferent shrug and an irritating smirk you find yourself wanting to smack clean off.

“Wow [Name], you just gonna let him talk to your boyfriend like that? Harsh.” 

You gap at him, stunned beyond belief. 

Did he seriously just say that? After all this time did he honestly think you two were still together? 

Your blood, which had run cold from shock, began to boil. 

How dare he. How fucking dare he say that to you. He was the one who left you, abandoned you without so much as a reason why, and he decides to suddenly come back and do this bullshit. As if the moment he walked back into your life you would just fall right into his arms, all hugs and long over due kisses. 

Well fuck him.

Ignoring the confused whisper of 'boyfriend?' Karkat sends you, your legs push forward. The moment you pause in front of him you're hit with a wave of the familiar scent of cologne and apples that used to plague your every waking moment and torment your dreams, but the anger bubbling beneath your skin prevents you from sinking into it.

Dave at least has the decency to look nervous and from this distance you can now see the sweat gathering on his brow, be it a mixture of the sweltering summer heat or anxiety from your close proximity you don't know. 

He shifts from nervous to laid back easy enough, fake fronts were always his area of expertise, a tenser smirk curling his lips. But before he has a chance to open those lips to trump forth even a syllable your hand silences him.

By connecting with his face.

Your palm lands with a resounding crack against the whole of his cheek, the sound of unpleasant skin on skin contact echoing throughout the silent cafe, followed by the clinking of plastic on tile. Dave's glasses, dislodged from your slap, now lay at his feet revealing his still breathtaking ruby eyes that are blown wide from shock. 

The only genuine bit of emotion you'd seen on his face this entire encounter. 

Hand still raised, breathing ragged, you spit at him with hate and disgust.

“We were over the moment you left, Strider. And I want nothing to do with you.”

The statement was so final, leaving no room for negotiation, it damn near knocked Dave off his feet. No longer being able to hide behind his shades you could see every emotion he tried so hard to conceal, every bit of sadness longing and hurt, and for a second you regret your actions. 

But that second soon passes when you remember how he pretty much destroyed your life and you have to resist the urge to slap him again.

Fighting against the hypnotic pull his eyes have on you, you turn back to the nubby horned troll with an unusual calmness.

“I'm sorry for all the commotion Karkat, but I should probably leave. I'll talk to you later, yeah?”

Snapping himself from his previous state of shock, Karkat immediately reverts to being concerned, wanting to go over and comfort you but still not quite grasping just what the fuck was going on.

“Are... Are you sure? I can drive you home if you'd like.”

He asks hesitantly, his gaze shifting cautiously between you and the blonde prick who is still looking at you with what Karkat can only describe as broken longing in his eyes.

You send him a weary smile, finding his concern heartwarming despite everything, but decline his offer.

“I'll be fine. I'm just gonna call into work and take the day off. I'll see you later Karkat.”

Turning on your heel you abscond as fast as socially acceptable, wanting to put as much distance between yourself and that red-eyed devil as possible. God, you wanted nothing more than to curl up on your couch with a tub of your favorite ice-cream, watch shitty animes, and fall asleep crying.

Unfortunately, you only get about halfway down the street before you hear a pair of foot falls sprinting after you. 

You know it's Dave, but the optimistic part of you wants to believe it's not, that you had finally dealt with whatever unfinished business you had with him, that you could start moving on with your life. That part of yourself is disappointed when you feel a hand grasp your elbow, spinning you around to face a freckled face and aviator shades.

So he at least had the mind to grab his beloved shades before giving chase, typical.

Ripping your arm out of his grasp, you allow him the pleasure of hearing your voice for what you hoped would be the last time, fixing him with a steady glare.

“I told you to leave me alone.”

You move to hurry away, not wanting to waste another second of your life on him. You just wanted to be done with this,to be done with him.

Once again, you don't get what you want and curse yourself for even hoping that it would be that easy. He turns you back around, this time keeping you in place with his next words.

“Look, I'm sorry alright? Shit wasn't cool and I shouldn't had just upped and left like that, but just hear me out.”

The prickling of your skin was quickly starting to become familiar as you felt your temper rising.

“'Shit wasn't cool?' Are you fucking kidding me with this right now? Two years, TWO FUCKING YEARS STRIDER, and all you have to say to me was 'Shit wasn't cool?'”

“Look [Name], just let me explain-”

“Explain? EXPLAIN?! Tough shit Strider, you don't get to explain. Nothing you say will make up for the fact that you left. Just fucking left. No note and no way for anyone to get in contact with you. Not only did you leave me, but you left everyone. Do you any idea the kind of pain you caused by disappearing like that?”

He opens his mouth, but you're swift to cut him off, no way in hell were you even close to being done yet.

“Of course you don't! You don't care that John was left distraught by the fact that his best friend was gone, or that Jade broke down because she was so worried out of her god damn mind about you. Rose threw herself into her work and went days without eating or sleeping, refusing to acknowledge the fact her brother was gone.”

You could feel your walls caving in, your body wanted nothing more than to just collapse in on itself. It was too much, everything was just too much. 

Dave stayed silent. 

You take a shaky breath to try to calm yourself, you couldn't break down, not yet.

“What about me Dave? I ceased to function. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I locked myself away in our apartment for months. I was dying without you. I gave you everything, my entire self, and you just left. Why?”

Struggling to process all this new information, honestly it made you furious that any of this even came as a surprise, Dave struggles to respond. He tugs fitfully at his hair, his abuse causing his scalp to burn.

“[Name] I,”

He sighs and looks to the ground, clearly frustrated with himself. Taking a moment to gather his words he looks back to you.

“Look, I loved what I had with you, with our friends, and I loved our lives the way they were. But you started talking about getting married, settling down, having kids, and all that shit just started to become way too much. You started pushing too much commitment onto me at once and, I just had to get away, okay?”

You feel the world shifting from under you, having to resist the urge to vomit. 

All of this, was because of you? He had felt trapped with you, needed an escape, so he left. There's a stinging taste of bile in your mouth when you speak.

“Y-You left because you were feeling pressured? By me?”

Dave gives a solemn nod, a tiny smile breaking through his usually stoic mask as he shifts closer to you, arms open as if waiting for a hug.

“Yeah, but everything's okay, I'm back now. Leaving was a mistake and I regret ever doing it, but we can still start over, take things slowly this time. Come on, give a bro a hug why don't ya?”

He goes to encircle you in his arms, praying that having you pressed against him would make you understand just how remorse he was for everything he put you through. He regretted leaving the moment he was out the door, and he was so happy to be back.

That happiness didn't stand a chance against the firm hand you pressed to his chest, making him stumble back a bit. 

He's about to question you when your head snaps up, the sight causing his stomach to plummet. 

You're crying, tears staining your cheeks and coloring the rims of your eyes red, but you're glaring in a way that caused even his stoic face to pale. 

You were angry, that much was a given, but numb at the same time. Not the numb as in emotionless, but numb as if accepting the reality of things. Numb as if you would no longer put anymore effort into feeling this grief for one man. 

You were done with it, with him.

“We were dating for years before your left and I was more than ready to spend my life with you. And I thought, after six years of love and devotion, you felt the same way. We were together for so long that I thought we could make it til death do us part. But, now that I know why you left, I'm glad you did.”

Dave was stunned.

“What are you saying?”

“What I'm saying is that leaving is the best thing you could have done, for the both of us. It's obvious now that we wanted different things from our relationship, things neither of us could have provided, and I'm glad you left before I was wasted anymore of my life on you.”

Dave held back a wince. Ouch, that one stung a little. 

He wanted to say more, not beg of course because Striders never beg, but maybe try to show you that he was sorry and that he still loved you. He did, his heart ached being apart from you, and he hoped that some part of you ached for him as well. 

And it did, some part of you did want to see sincerity in Dave's words, wanted to forgive him and just fall back into that easy life the both of you once had. To hold him close and never let go, to shower him in all the love and affection you'd buried over the years of being apart.

But you knew better, knew where those roads would lead you, and you refused to walk them again.

You turned away, the summer sun beating down on you in waves of intense heat, a stark contrast to the cold winter you experienced alone all those years ago. 

The first step was the hardest, as they tend to be, but the second seemed to ease the ache, and then the third, fourth, fifth, until it was nothing but a dull throb in your chest. 

Each step put more and more distance between the two of you, and it wasn't until you were nearly out of ear shot that you spoke to him, the words a whisper to the wind, before you disappeared from his life forever.

 

 

 

“I used to wonder why you did it, why you would just leave an entire life behind. But now that I've got my answer, I'm not sure it was worth waiting for.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is long over due, and for that am sorry. I hope you enjoyed it all the same. This is an continuation of 'Waiting'.


End file.
